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Question
Posted by: Scared and alone | 2015/04/01

I am afraid of my ex.

Hi. I broke up with my ex 4 months back. Now he is demanding to come back. He is blackmailing me, threatening me and I am afraid. Most of the time entertain him because I am too afraid to take him up on his threats. My family is dismissing my fears. But I am genuinely scared. We have a child together and he has told me if there is no chance of us being together he wants her. And he needs to destroy my life so that he can ease his pain. The reason I am so fearful of him is that he once forced himself on me. And when I confronted him, he told me he took what he wanted because I was refusing. He told his cousin who is a policeman and apparently they had a laugh about it. He gets aggressive when drunk. He gets into altercations a lot. It wasn't an easy relationship. My low self confidence then allowed a very difficult character into my life and it's even more difficult to get rid of him. I am really afraid of him and what he will do when he realises he won't get his way. Any help will be appreciated.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2015/04/01

Contact your nearest branch of one of the agencies which advise and help abused women. You are describing a low-life,  cowardly and abusive bully.  If he nts to take the child, you should have consulted Child Services for an assessment, and to be sure that custody is properly decided by a court of law,  which is unlikely to easily grant custody to an abuser.
Discuss with the agency ( a group like POWA ) how best to protect yourself and your rights. You can approach the police and the courts for help ; you can get a court order forbidding him from contacting you or threatening you, or approaching you, or he goes to jail if he disobeys the court order.  Also, it gives you some protection if others know who he is, what he has done and threatened, and when he knows that this is known, he must also know that if you come to any harm,  he will be the obvious suspect.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2015/04/07

I have had a ex GF stalk me and harass me... at work, at home...every possible place... the lies financial damage was hectic... I went to court, got a restraining order, but she went into hiding... so the police couldn't do much... then she started pretending to be other people and sending nasty messages etc... I think i must have went back and forth to the police over 10 times a week... it has stopped now that i think she has moved on... My suggestion to you is, go to a court, get a restraining order, arrest him, make sure you tell them that his cousin is a police officer and you feel intimidated by this, you dont want anyone from his family contacting you by any means possible. the court will grant you full custody based on his abusive behavior... trust me dont leave it to boil over, it will never, as long as you make them feel like they have a hold on you, they wont stop... act now or it will get worse.... Get yourself a taser gun if you can afford one... protect yourself, dont feel intimidated... Sorry to hear about it... i do know what you going through and I wish i could help you more but thats the only advice i have...

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Tegan | 2015/04/01

Get in touch with POWA. I would also suggest keeping hold of all electronic messages he sends you, no court would award him with primary custody if he's saying the types of things you have written here.

Reply to Tegan

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