Our expert says:
Apart from the specifics of your particular example, I am often puzzled by the way people keep copies of personal call logs and messages when they are having affairs or simply making contact they know their boss, spouse or others will find upsetting or annoying. Deletion is always an option. Is it just laziness, or a wish to keep souvenirs ?
Anyhow. It is also my observation that people who look into their companion's phones, very rarely find anything that pleases them.
Maybe he thinks this continuing relationship with this woman is harmless and that you're just making too much fuss about it. But even if it were totally innocent, knowing that it upsets you should be enough for most people to want to end it, so as to avoid inflicting needless distress on their partner.
For him to continue with this relationship, knowing that you know about it and will have the chance to find confirmation of it, suggests something more.
It may well not be about any physical relationship, but more about her making him feel good about himself.
But it all points to problems in your relationship with each other which need to be fixed. Otherwise you are getting too involved in the symptoms, rather than in solving the primary problems. Why not, calmly but firmly, explain that he is hurting you deeply by continuing this relationship, and that you are concerned about the larger issues that though you do love him very much, all is obviously not well between you, and you would like to join him in working together to put things right ?. And ask that the pair of you see a good local couples counsellor together, to identify all problems troubling either or both of you, and to work on solving them.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.