Our expert says:
Good to hear from you again, K.
So the issue has become more clear --- its really about his reluctance to move out and away from Mom and family, than a lack of the possibility of moving out. Apparently he is not mature enough to feel comfortable living his own life, with you --- almost exactly the opposite of your very reasonable desire for privacy and independence. Sadly this may be the sort of thing about a partner which one doesn't discover until after marriage.
He sounds like a spoiled brat, and unwilling to behave like an adult man rather than a cuddled little boy. For him to say he doesn't mind you moving out with your son, suggests he has no idea of what mattiage is supposed to be --- I hope you have got yourself a good lawyer. Moving out may indeed be the best thing to do, for you and the boy, not so much because of the lack of privacy which seemed to be your main complaiont, but for what it represents, and this boy's lack of interest in being a proper husband and father. His refusal of counselling confirms that he refues to grow up and change, and his blam,ing you for his faults shows that he has no insight. Make sure your lawyer protects the interests of you and the child --- don't let your husband claim you deserted him or to try to evade his responsibilities --- make sure he is required to pay proper maintenance for the child until the kid is grown up. Don't reward your husband for his selfishness.
Meantime, can't you lock your bedroom door, indeed even the granny flat outside door, or change the locks, so people can only enter when you invite them in ?
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