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Question
Posted by: | 2013/12/04

Emotional blackmail

Hi, I am divorced with 3 boys, with the oldest being 14. My ex husband is a very abusive, aggressive and controlling person, which was part of the reason that we divorced. He was also unfaithful. My ex husband got primary residence of the children and they come to me on the weekends. He is sueing me for maintenance, which is still being finalised in court. I feel that I pay my portion, but my ex expects me to pay an exhorbatant amount, which I refuse. As a result, he tells my kids that I do not want to support them and that I don't care about them and I am happy to see them starve. He gets them to phone me and tell me that they have nothing for supper which is heartbreaking for me. Regardless that he has luxuries like a maid , DSTV, etc. As a result, my oldest son doesn't want to see me or even talk to me on the phone as he is totally believing the rubbish that my ex is telling him. I feel that he is poisoning their minds and is brainwashing them against me. I don't know how to deal with this or what I can do to stop it. I don't believe my ex is a good influence on my kids and is a bad role model. My son is obviously reacting to the drama as he has now failed this year at school, even though an IQ test done earlier on in the year showed him to be above average. I can't afford private councelling and my medical aid doesn't cover it. he would also refuse to go as my ex says it is nonsense and he doesn't need it, but I feel he desperately does. I am so concerned for his future and worry that my other 2 boys will follow as they get older (they are currently age 8 and 3). Please help. Thank you

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