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Posted by: Can't - Let - got - The list can go on and on and | 2017/08/28

Can't let go.

1. Criticized my Car 2. Criticized my hair 3. Criticized my career 4. Calling my husband Pappie 5. For making my husband an alcoholic because she needed a drink buddy and when he almost passed away due to pancreatitis due to severe alcohol abuse, Who was with him that night ? Who stood by him , got him sober and supported him ? ME ! She didn't even ask to come and visit him in ICU ( He's 7 years Sober now ) 6. For not smiling or dressing up on our wedding day. The pictures paints a picture of pure hatred on her face. 7. For calling my parents and telling them I need "help' because I am a satanist ( I'm not - I just believe in science not religion ) . 8. For calling my parents and telling them I was raped by my uncle. WTF ? I was not. Don't know where she got that one from. Oh yeah. She said she thinks that I was raped or molested when I was younger and that is why I am not " lekker " in my head. 9. For going up to our honeymoon suite on our wedding night and refusing to leave. It took 5 people getting her out of there. ( This I only found out on a later stage ) 10. For giving me a T shirt as a wedding gift ? huh ? 11. For playing a MAJOR role in me becoming addicted to pharmaceutical heroin / benzo's / booze and opiods. 12. For always keeping my mouth SHUT when it comes to her because she makes it difficult for my husband as is , and by me loosing my temper or talking about it, JUST makes it worse ! 13. For not appreciating me taking a day of work to get a room ready for her for a weekend. ONLY to call my husband the monday telling him. Vicky is not lekker. She needs help. Just look at the purple drapes over the tumble drying. Why is the tumble drying in the spare room. Why does she have so much books ? Why does she listen to meditation music when she goes to sleep. Why does she sleep with headphones on ? Why did she place an orthopedic matras on my bed ? 14. For criticizing my motivational speeches I do at rehabs. HOW dare she say that to them ?? Who the hell gave her permission to scratch in my tray and read it the first damn place ?? 15. For always making sure my husband and I fight over her. The angrier he gets with me. the better chance she has in us getting a divorce. 16. For giving me back the x - mas gifts I got her. 17. For leaving the what's up open ( Yeah that one ) 18. For not calling me but for the one time she did ask to speak to me was to ask .. ARE YOU SURE you want to be a addiction counselor. HELP ME TO LET GO Please

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2017/08/29

Dear Lister,
The saga continues.  So, she doesn't like your hair, your car or your job. So what ? These are yours, not hers, which you have chosen so as to please yourself, not her.  In a way, wouldn't it be more worrying if she DID like your hair ?
Why does it have to matter what she calls your husband ?
When the next-door dog barks at you, do you feel obliged to take offense ?
She has no power whatever, except for what you choose to give her.  Choose to give her none. 
Surely your parents don't take her ridiculous comments seriously ? Maybe they and you / your husband should take legal advice about seeking a court order forbidding her from making any for of contact with you at all, and enjoy the subsequent silence.  If she breaks such a court order, she would be in contempt of court and could even go to jail, or maybe to hospital for observation and assessment.
You and your husband seem to have allowed her to be outrageously intrusive. The sit-in i the honeymoon suite is highly bizarre : why didn't someone call the police and have her arrested for trespass ? Why ever allow her to visit ? Why enable her to access your e-mails, and whatever ?
Why do you assume it matters what this idiot thinks of your chosen work, hobbies, or choices ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lilly | 2017/08/30

Feel for you... If you work the 12 steps it is a good time to reach out?

Reply to Lilly
Posted by: Anonymous | 2017/08/29

Time to take back your power you gave to her on a silver platter. Stop running and go take back your power. Own it. Look her in the eyes and tell her exactly what you think of her, you only need 2-3 sentences not a long story. Tell her. Listen here old, vindictive, sorry excuse for a human being sad pathetic old hag today I will cut you out of my life for good. From today onwards you are dead to me, yes go ahead and do your worst I do not give two f...cks. Walk away and let her do her worst. You cannot do anything for your husband that battle is his alone with his mother. You can control what happens next in you life you environment. I myself have a evil vindictive mother in-law(not as bad as your) only because I stopped her. I cut her out of my life years ago. I walked away. She cannot touch me and she knows it. Sh e has gone through great lengths to destroy me and my good name. She has physically hurt me and almost destroyed me emotionally. Till today I am picking up the pieces some turned into dust it is a long hard road but I have learned it is doable. You gotto get up and be stronger then her and bigger then her but never fight on her battle fields you will loose, trust me. Start to ignore her like the stop street self. Do not give her an audience anymore. Full out ignore her break all contact everything. Do not give your husband the option of choosing between the two of you. That is his decision he is an adult. Leave him be with his mom. You go on with your life be there for your husband but to an extend. Time he mans up and take on his mom and stop running away and be weak. Good luck.

Reply to Anonymous | 2 comments (hide)
Posted by: Anonymous | 2017/09/07

Hi there :) it is only my pleasure. Trust me if I (soft hearted person who could not stand up for myself or know how to handle confrontations) can get up dust myself off and faced my mother in law, could survive. You can to. Be happy with your husband and never ever bring her up in any conversation with him or anyone else. Remember she is "dead" to you. She will try and wedge between the two of you. Be always one step ahead of her. If she comes for weekend visits. Be nice with an ice look in your eyes(don't mess with me) If she wants to provoke you in front of your husband with being overly nice and mother of the year let her be. Instead of you getting angry and stuff turn the tables. Say something like ahh that is really nice to see and take a "mom/son" picture. It's called reversed psychology. Do not get caught up in playing her games its a waste of time and energy. I now know you can do it.

Posted by: Anonymous | 2017/08/30

Dear Anomymous , Thank you for taking the time to comment your experience. Sometimes it amazes me how complete strangers can help you and change ones perspective :-) Thank you. I will RAISE again . F&*ck her !

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