Our expert says:
So the first time round, we were right. You had to be needy and naive to believe him then : but now you are choosing to reward him for all his continuing bad behaviour.
You have now discovered that he was lying to you and deceiving you, cheating on you with his wife, and cheating on his wife, with you. And apparently you were so delighted that you have resolved to continue this sleazy situation, even after you spoke to the innocent child who will be hurt by his daddy's selfishness.
Tell me, exactly what part of his slimy behaviour is it that you find gives you that special "happy glow" ?
"I have to leave this man alone" : so why don't you do just that ? Why do you insist on deluding yourself that he loves you at all, rather than merely loving the chances you give him to use you ? When you rant about how hurt he makes you, he "comforts" you ? That's how abusers train their victims to remain suckers and to remain available whenever it suits them.
What's the point of dramatically expressing guilt, when you refuse to choose to stop doing this ? You are insistently creating and living in a soap opera, rather than rejoining the real world.
You now what you need to do, and it's simple and easy. Just say no. Stop seeing him ; if he comes round, refuse to let him in, and warn him you will get a court order forbidding him from approaching or contacting you if he persists. Don't argue or discuss this with him : just do it. Refuse to accept any messages or calls from him.
Don't tell him to go away and call you when he's divorced. Even if he ever gets divorced, he has proved conclusively that he doesn't deserve to be allowed to inflict himself on any woman.
And see a counsellor, to help you develop some self-respect, and stop being so needy and vulnerable.
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