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Question
Posted by: misrable | 2012-08-20

5 year old daughter

doc,

i don''t know anymore. my daughter is 5 years old. we are battling to get her to sleep in her own room. i have done everything that the pediatrician said to us but it still does not work.

either her father or i must sleep with her or she is even happy when both of us are in the same room with her.

we did her whole bedroom over. like she wanted.

she was in hospital 17 times until she was 2 years old.

it seems asif she is very unsecure about something and i don''t know how to handle it anymore.

it is frustrating and it takes it toll on our relationship with my daughter and my husband.

please help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Some kids seem to sail through this issue without problems, and others find it a big step to take. 5 is a bit old to have this still remaining a problem. In this case, her many hospitalizations may be very relevant - she may associate sleeping of her own to being like the scary experience when very young, of being alone in a scary place ; though memories are not well recorded before the age of 4 or 5 at least.
She is likely to grow out of it, I like Rita's idea of sleepovers, as a step towards independence, and also the idea of a bedtime story or chat, and explicitly sitting with her till she falls asleep rather than committing to spending the whole night with her. And as she is older, gentle chat ( during the day time !) may enable her to voice her concerns about sleeping alone.

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Lisa | 2012-08-22

I put a night light in my son''s room. Problem solved.

Reply to Lisa
Posted by: Rose | 2012-08-20

Have you considered getting her a puppy/kitten. Kids love it when they cuddle up and sleep with them on the bed - depending if there is any allergies involved?

Sometimes the answer is simple :)

Reply to Rose
Posted by: Rita | 2012-08-20

She will grow out of it. Just be patient with her. My daughter has only been sleeping in her room the past 2 yrs now and she is 8 and a half now.

It is no big deal. Don''t push her. Try inviting friends over for sleep overs. She certainly won''t want mum or dad around then. My daughter still likes being read a bed time story &  either dad or I lie with her until she falls asleep.

It may be taking a toll on your sex life now, but it is a small price to pay for a happy child.

Reply to Rita
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-08-20

Some kids seem to sail through this issue without problems, and others find it a big step to take. 5 is a bit old to have this still remaining a problem. In this case, her many hospitalizations may be very relevant - she may associate sleeping of her own to being like the scary experience when very young, of being alone in a scary place ; though memories are not well recorded before the age of 4 or 5 at least.
She is likely to grow out of it, I like Rita's idea of sleepovers, as a step towards independence, and also the idea of a bedtime story or chat, and explicitly sitting with her till she falls asleep rather than committing to spending the whole night with her. And as she is older, gentle chat ( during the day time !) may enable her to voice her concerns about sleeping alone.

Reply to cybershrink

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