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Question
Posted by: Bubu | 2010-09-23

3sum

Gud morning Doc,

My boyfriend wants us to try a 3sum to satisfy his sexual fantacy, i dont have a problem with that as we both are adventures. He gave me an option to choose who we gonna do it with, and it must be a woman. My question is does this mean he loves me less now or i dont satisfy him? Offcourse we will take safe sex into concideration.

Tnx!!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Fantasies are usually harmless SO LONG AS they remain fantasies. Acting them out often causes problems, and also usually this turns out much less pleasant than they assume. Being adventurous can be an asset in business. In sex, where it involved risky sex and with multiple partners, it is damngerous and can eventually be fatal. Why can't he be adventurous WITH you ? Its not about whether you satisfy him, but more whether he will allow himself to be satisfied by one woman and whether he actually pays attention to whether he is satisfying his woman.
I have never come across a single instance where the request for a 3-some or other group sex did not indicate something basically wrong with the relationship, which needed fixing.
Also, you seem to be bying into profoundly sexist assumptions - that it's HIS satisfaction that matters most, that it's HIS fantasy that takes precedence, and that HE should enjoy 2 women at once. I don't advocate a 3-some with 2 men involved - but why does he reject that so firmly ? Because then it's not so much about HIM ?

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6
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-09-24

Fantasies are usually harmless SO LONG AS they remain fantasies. Acting them out often causes problems, and also usually this turns out much less pleasant than they assume. Being adventurous can be an asset in business. In sex, where it involved risky sex and with multiple partners, it is damngerous and can eventually be fatal. Why can't he be adventurous WITH you ? Its not about whether you satisfy him, but more whether he will allow himself to be satisfied by one woman and whether he actually pays attention to whether he is satisfying his woman.
I have never come across a single instance where the request for a 3-some or other group sex did not indicate something basically wrong with the relationship, which needed fixing.
Also, you seem to be bying into profoundly sexist assumptions - that it's HIS satisfaction that matters most, that it's HIS fantasy that takes precedence, and that HE should enjoy 2 women at once. I don't advocate a 3-some with 2 men involved - but why does he reject that so firmly ? Because then it's not so much about HIM ?

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Lego | 2010-09-23

Leave him. No real man would even consider sharing his woman with anybody! He is supposed to protect you, not lead you down a path of endless emotional turmoil.

Reply to Lego
Posted by: Bozo | 2010-09-23

Tell him you will agree to it, but you first want a 3sum with him and one of his buddies. See if he would go for this.

Reply to Bozo
Posted by: Ph | 2010-09-23

How old is your BF? If he is a " man"  he will realise that there is no feeling fulfilled or happy after the deeds has been done. I have heard from so many guys/men who say that after having this 3sums or attending one of this swingers parties, they just cannot look at their girlfriend in the same way. They cannot see you being what they want to spent the rest of their lives with you. Why would he suggest that you choose a girl? Why not a guy? Are you not enough for him? Bubu, like any other person on this planet, you also have sexual fantasies of your own, Is it one of your sexual fantasies to share your bf? There is no need to this, there will always be a need to go back to the 3sum feeling. Are you willing or able to adhere to this?

Reply to Ph
Posted by: Germ | 2010-09-23


no good comes from 3sum trust me!!! unless you are not in a relationship and just doing it for fun, but if you are in a relationship ,kiss it goodbye!!! its all good and fun till he gives more attention to the other party and you standing there watching how your man is having a blast
but if you want to break up with him go for it by all means or tell him you want a man and see how fast he says nooooooo
it is all for him then not you

Reply to Germ
Posted by: Just me | 2010-09-23

DANGER!!!!!DANGER!!!!!!!!!DANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don''t do it, unless you are happy watching your man bonk another woman in front of you. I would say yes, he doesn''t love you the way he should. Be adventures, but leave a 3rd party out of it. It can only cause problems........What if he wants it AGAIN AND AGAIN or even go behind your back to see this other woman.......That''s just my opinion, let''s wait and see other responses......

Reply to Just me

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