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Question
Posted by: Noddy | 2012/10/11

3rd marriage

Hi CS,

I am friends with this guy who has just married for the third time. He is very successful in his career but seems to struggle with relationships. His dad abandoned the family when he was young and this could be influencing his choices. He told me he was struggling with his second wife, whom he had an affair with and tried to form a relationship with me. I am happily married and it went no further. He had another affair, broke up more families and has now married someone 20 years his junior.

Why do some middle aged men marry younger women? Why does he keep having affairs and breaking up families? Could this be selfishness? I cannot understand this, I thought he was pretty stable and a respected person in our small community so am rather shocked at his decision.

And why would a young woman marry someone who could be her father?

It''s like a soapie playing in front of me.....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OF he tried to have an affair with you, while still married to his second wife, he's a lousy bet as a companion or even friend. You were wise indeed to refuse him.
Yes, part of what he's doing is selfish. And it usually includes low self-esteem, that he wants a new woman, like a new car, to show he can have the latest model, and that he can still attract "them". Younger women, among some older men, are seen as more prestigious ( Google "trophy wife" ). And young women may feel clever in getting a RICHer older man.
Whatever the reasons, its sad, and bad, as it hurts innocent people.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/10/11

OF he tried to have an affair with you, while still married to his second wife, he's a lousy bet as a companion or even friend. You were wise indeed to refuse him.
Yes, part of what he's doing is selfish. And it usually includes low self-esteem, that he wants a new woman, like a new car, to show he can have the latest model, and that he can still attract "them". Younger women, among some older men, are seen as more prestigious ( Google "trophy wife" ). And young women may feel clever in getting a RICHer older man.
Whatever the reasons, its sad, and bad, as it hurts innocent people.

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