Posted by: Anon | 2008-12-11

32 weeks preg - want to leave husband

I don' t know whats up with my husband but it has driven me to the point where I would leave him now if it were possible. His moods fluctuate seriously, one moment he' s so protective and thankful for our family (we have one 3 yo son and next one due in January) and the next moment he blames me for everything thats going wrong re finances, my pregnancy weight and the baby' s weight. He buys hundreds of rands of clothes for himself, and then causes the biggest scene and unpleasantness when I give a beggar R10 and a bag of sugar. He has no sympathy with my severe back problem - I have SIJ instability which causes so much pain at times that I can' t walk, and doesn' t want me to see the doctor/chiropractor for treatment as it costs too much money. Yet at times he' s very attentive. I have come to the point where I cannot expose myself, our unborn baby and our son to his aggression anymore. If I could still fly I would leave, but I am stuck as its too far to drive to my mom who lives 1300 km away. I really don' t know what to do. Please help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Curious. It's usually the preogative of the pregnant woman to have mood fluctuations. Some men actually handle their wife's p[regnancy much worse than she does, and tend to go to pieces over it. Try to stay calm and avoid stress so far as possible. Are there friends or family nearer than your mom, with whom you could spend some time ? Its not too long till January. As me very sensibly says, let your family know the problem, so they understand --- could one of them, perhaps your mom, come to stay with you until after delivery ?
And can you talk with him in his calm and protective moods, to help him understand the unnecessary stress he is creating for you, and help you understand the nature of his odd problem here ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2008-12-11

I really don' t want to leave...but this isn' t a new thing. Its being going on, on-and-off, for almost 4 years now.

Will try and speak to him when he' s is the ' right'  mood. He is very stressed and overworked at the moment, but I' m a bit worried that he might have a mood disorder, as his grandfather and cousin suffer(ed) from bipolar disorder. Its not normal for anyone to go from happy to spitting angry in less than 5 minutes, is it?

My parents in law are arriving next week, so hopefully it will calm things down. I really need him right now, and especially as I can' t leave, I think I' d best to try and find a solution. At least until baby is born in anycase...

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Me | 2008-12-11

Just try to stay calm and without stress till your baby is born. Once baby is there, you can start focusing on making serious plans to leave. If you are sure that s what you want, then you need to stay focused because he might be happy and jolly when baby arrives home, but you know that it wont last, so do whats best for you and your children in the long term, and if leaving is whats best then do it. Let your family know whats going on so that you have their support

Reply to Me

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