Posted by: Jason | 2012-11-13

3 year old son going backwards due to summer storms

My wife and i both work, and she fetches the boys usually around 3:30pm. Our 2 boys (9 and 3) are at great schools, and we spend as much time as we can with them. The They both slept in their own beds till now - until summer storms arrived and things went pear shaped. The little one is now terrified of the dark, and if he hears thunder he is beside himself with fear. He cannot sleep in his own bed anymore, and we have resorted to him sleeping with his older brother in the double bed, and at least we getting sleep. However, this extra bonding seems to also be having a negative side affect that he is now getting worse separating from mom in the mornings at creche, where before he loved going. Im not sure if the 2 are related, but this, and the fact that he refuses to sleep alone now. And we have tried for many hours to get him to sleep in his own bed before resorting to where we are now. We have shown him and explained storms a plenty!!! He is terrified. If he manages to fall asleep, we sneak him into his own bed, but in the middle of the night if he wakes up, its back to brothers room.
Is this a phase, or should we be concerned? At our wits end.


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Our expert says:
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He really is very little, to battle with anything alarming in his life. This is probably a phase, so don't make a big deal out of sleeping with his brother at this stage. Perhaps give him lots of praise when he manages to spend any amount of time in his own bed, complimenting him on being so brave and such a big boy. Lots of re-assurance in general, and showing your love, as usual
Purple's general advice is sound, as usual.

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Our users say:
Posted by: r | 2012-11-13

He is only 3 years old man, not a baby, not yet a man, lol.
He will be ok in time. You should know they go through various phases at this tender age. Maybe a little extra re-assurance to build his confidence, a little more hugs and kisses to give him that sense of security.

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Posted by: Purple | 2012-11-13

Poor little guy sounds terrified. At three he is still so little - and he isn''t going to sleep with his brother forever, perhaps so long as the two of them are comfortable with this arrangement and you''re all getting sleep, its best to leave things this way.

The other issue may or may not be related. Have you asked his teacher if anything is happening? Has he seen that playing up on being dropped off gets him attention? Do you tell him " we''ll be back after work"  or just sneak out (which causes children to be very upset most of the day). Have you asked him questions about the songs he sings, the pictures he draws etc - as sometimes children this age will then tell us what has happened. Time is not something they''re so hot on so they may tell you something happened today when it was 3 weeks ago, but you may find something useful by talking ot him about general things about school.

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