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Question
Posted by: Worried | 2009/11/19

2yr Old Little Angel

Hi

I have a 2yr old baby girl and a 10 month old baby boy. My 2 yr is very intelligent, but she does not listen to me if i give her instructions. For example, I will ask her to fetch her slippers, then she will pretend not to hear me and just go on doing what she is doing...i will ask her a couple of times and even raise my voice or give her warnings...but she does not listen, its like she is the boss..otherise she will say outright No, and just go on with what she is doing. She doesnt even want me to brush her hair. Sometimes she doesnt even want to put the clothes on what i take out of the cupboard for her...she wants to choose exactly what to wear...i dont know what to do..how do I dscipline becuase i made all sorts of threats and even followed through with it...but she does not listen and just ignores me and my husband.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Much of this sounds like fairly normal oppositional behaviour for a child of that age, and extraordinarily unlikely to persist into her teens ! At an early age like this, a child discovers the fascinating fact that they can assert themselves and say NO, or simply ignore instrictions.
A child psychologist would be able to advise you in detail as to how to out-manoeuvre the child.
Relax- a child can sense when mom feels anxiety and lacking in confidence, and automatically takes advantage of that.
Pick your battles, don't sweat the small stuff. When something is really important, you can use the approaches shown on Supernanny and similar programs. And exploit her attempts to be assertive. Instead of insisting on brushing her hair, and letting her defy you by refusing, open an argument about whether YOU will brish her hair, or whether SHE will - it assumes that the hair must get brushed, and whichever she decides, you win. Similarly, don't argue about her geting into your choice of dress today - debate whether she'll choose the red dress or the dreen dress - it doesn't matter which one she chooses, but she wins by choosing either one, and you win because she wears a dress, anyway

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: personal | 2009/11/19

I used the approach of when they asked for something like a toy or a sweet I just said no. And then said " you remember when you say no to me? Well I can say no also" .
Make consequences for their refusal to co-operate, helps them realise that what you do to other will come back and bit you in the bum.
Well, good luck in any case.

Reply to personal
Posted by: Worried | 2009/11/19

I am also worried that this behaviour will follow her into the teens..I am so worried.

Reply to Worried
Posted by: Worried | 2009/11/19

I am also worried that this behaviour will follow her into the teens..I am so worried.

Reply to Worried
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/11/19

Much of this sounds like fairly normal oppositional behaviour for a child of that age, and extraordinarily unlikely to persist into her teens ! At an early age like this, a child discovers the fascinating fact that they can assert themselves and say NO, or simply ignore instrictions.
A child psychologist would be able to advise you in detail as to how to out-manoeuvre the child.
Relax- a child can sense when mom feels anxiety and lacking in confidence, and automatically takes advantage of that.
Pick your battles, don't sweat the small stuff. When something is really important, you can use the approaches shown on Supernanny and similar programs. And exploit her attempts to be assertive. Instead of insisting on brushing her hair, and letting her defy you by refusing, open an argument about whether YOU will brish her hair, or whether SHE will - it assumes that the hair must get brushed, and whichever she decides, you win. Similarly, don't argue about her geting into your choice of dress today - debate whether she'll choose the red dress or the dreen dress - it doesn't matter which one she chooses, but she wins by choosing either one, and you win because she wears a dress, anyway

Reply to cybershrink

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