Posted by: Anne | 2009-01-28

1st lover dreams

hi everyone, im 28 and maried with a kid, i just want to understand the psychological meaning of dreams i' ve always had through out my life, i broke up with first old school lover in 1999 coz of distance, being young and wanting to have freedom, enjoying tertiary,etc but the problem throughout my love life is i keep dreaming about the guy, 2 0r 3 times in two months and the frequency increases everytime i have problems with my lover, the dreams are still there in my marriage...we last met in 2004 and though i was not married then, we all pretended to be fine without each other, we not keeping contact not pondering on what if or something like that BUT want to understand why the DREAMS!
is there something i or we have to deal with here?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The psychological meaning of dreams is uually highly exaggerated. Its easy to dream of Mr WOnderful because the relationship broke up early on, and before there was much chance for it to turn sour. What you are dreaming of isn't the actual guy as he was or is, but an enjoyable fantasy of a lovely guy --- and all the more appleaing as an escape when you nhave problems with your existing spouse --- and a distraction from properly working on sorting out these real current problems. Had you married Mr Wonderful back then, you would very likely have been experiencing similar problems with him. What you need to deal with lies not in the dreams, but in the avoidance of genuinely dealing with the problems in your current relationship

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