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Question
Posted by: EE | 2008-11-24

1773 Can a daughter do this!!

I have read some of the replies and yes I do seem to be a bad mother, but which monther would like being sworn at loud enough for the neighbours to hear, when trying to help your child, telling her what she' s doing is wrong, taken a beating from her when stopping her from clubbing?my daughter had been very spoilt and had it all, we had a good stable life when her father was still alive.
Once she started clubbing she slept around, wouldn' t listen to me. very headstrong, after her fathers death when she was 25 and a mother I relocated, she and moved in with b/f.
She fell pregnant with her second child from another man,and that child became my responsibility as the first childs father kicked her out.
I bought a house for her and her kids, paid the bond, bought the groceries, lights, telephone etc, when she wanted to go clubbing it never bothered her to lock her kids 4yrs and 10mths up alone and went clubbing, filled the house up with friends and partied every day.I never did that to my kids, eventually I couldn' t take it anymore and sold the house.
Parents were complaining that she was harboring their kids in the house.smoking and drugging.
Now where am I to blame here as I never drank, clubbed or had a b/f then, I worked to make sure that they were well kept.I furnished the house for her as well she was short of nothing but wouldn' t find a job.
She is 33 yrs old now and still irresponsible.
Living with me now for 5 mths she' s only pd R200 board, ran my telephone bill up to thousands after my asking her not to use my landline on cell phones, doesn' t care, costing me R1400 a month.
My b/f is wealthy and she feels he can pay for all but I work and still pay my way.
When she told me last december that she was saved and getting married I was happy for her, but she wont marry because she doesn' t want a man to control her.The man that was marrying her was gonna adopt her two kids, buy her a big house the sky was the limit for her but she piut her mixit it friend and b/friends first before her kids who are living apart.So come people don' t blame me she is a grown woman, nothing I say or do please' s her I gave her another chance by inviting her to JHB to find work of which she has done, never sent her kids a penny towards their stay with family, I have to send monies from my pocket.
I spoke to her about counceling, found numbers and gave them to her,says she has her god, what else am I suppose to do.
She hates me and maybe it' s because she was the only girl,last born and daddy' s girl, does all these things to hurt me.
All I want is for her to settle down and be a responsible mother and look after her kids which she will never do if shes bringing this bad friend up to JHB.


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

At her age, she's a silly and immature adlt, and generally allowed to be foolish. You are probabl;y not helping by getting over-involved in her life. If she is irresponsible in her care for the children, and may be putting them at risk, report her to CHiold Welfare and have them investigate the situation. Stop giving her money to waste, stop taking responsibility for her bad behaviour. Get child welfare to protect the kids, and leave her to care for herself --- let go, and take care of yourself

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: XYZ | 2008-11-24

Your daugther is 33 years old. She must be responsible for her doings. You must be hard on her. Lock the phone, cut all money suppliy to her.
I told my son, while I am paying rates and tax you do as I say.
If you (my son) pay the rates and taxes the he could do what he wants..
Today were are good friends.
You are not a bad mother, your daugther at 33 must start taking responsibileties.
We all have fathers and mothers that die sometime and we can not blame it all on others.
Good luck and God bless you.

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