Our expert says:
Of course you're not a bad mother - you're a thoughtful and concerned mom. YOu are right to recognize that you cannot be with a child 24/7 to physically prevent them from trying such things, and that the best safeguard is a child who knows your opinion and the relevant facts, so they know WHY you consider it a bad idea , so they're encouraged to form a similar opinion of their own and to be prepared to withstand peer presure when they meet it, as they will. And maintaining an op[en communication about such matters is far more protective than empty forbidding.
And if they are going to try it, doing so in the safety of their home, where they feel confident to notice that it's not as pleasant as the Forbidden Fruit is usually asumed to be, probably helps, too.
We know why tobaco, for instance, is addictive. What puzzles me more, and it must lie in the realm of peer presure and similar encouragement, is why people continue to smoke, even though their early experiences are usually unpleasant, and persist UNTIL they find it pleasant, whereas most other unpleasant experiences don't get repeated.
If coruse it's harder to convince a child that smoking or drinking or whatever is not a good idea, if they regularly see their parents doing it.
Congratulations to both of you for your shared good sense.
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