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Question
Posted by: worried | 2010/11/15

14 year old smoking

I am worried about my son he has started smoking is there any way that i can get him to quit?He is only 14 and I fear that smoking will lead to him trying other drugs.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

There is no sure way of him stopping unless he decides to. The best thing to do is to make all the disadvantages clear to him and then let him decide for himself.

At home you can also have a no smoking rule either inside or outside in the garden.

Many young people will try smoking at his age, but not all of them will continue with it.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Deeve | 2010/12/14

AMEN!
The kids are no different today to when we were youngsters. My parents were very strict, yet somehow figured exactly what Vrye Denker is saying. If you build sound relationships with mutual trust, then your kids will open up and not hide things from you. Expect them to experiment here and there, it''s part of growing up. The wonderful thing about all of this is that they will come to you when the going gets tough, or when in trouble. Trust is a marvellous thing.

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: Vrye Denker | 2010/12/10

The best thing you can do is to allow him to smoke at home, but not in front of you. This way he can''t use at as a means to rebel against you. The same applies to drinking. If your son knows he can smoke or have a beer at your house without world war 3 erupting, he will be much less inclined to go do these things at a dodgy friend''s place.

Reply to Vrye Denker
Posted by: Ben | 2010/12/01

Smoking will not neccesarily lead him to try other drugs, how many smokers do you know that are also drug users? As the expert said, kids around his age are bound to try smoking and all sorts of stuff. It is a " normal"  phase of life. As the expert says, you cannot really forbid him, you know that if you do, e will just do it in secret, but you could lay down some rules around it. As for your worry that he is going to try other things, he probably is, so the important thing for you as a parent to do is to build up the kind of relationship and communication with him that he feels confident and free to discuss his life with you. If he could freely and openly ask you questions about things, and know that you would trust him to make the right choices, you could guide him to make them. Remember though that even though he is your kid, he is not you, and will think differently about things. But if you can communicate about this, it will give you both peace of mind.

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Posted by: @ ALL | 2010/11/22

There are worse things happening, children having sex at 13!! the smoking is influenced, so you can already see that he is easily influenced, what makes you think he is not drinking or smoking dagga? Isnt that what most teenages do. I think that the teenages of today are ALL out of control!!!! There should be punishment and consequences for their actions! They should all be brought down to earth and act their age!!! He like just left primary school for goodness sake....You asking how do you get your child to quit! Get pictures of people''s lungs that have died of smoking or drugs even drinking, get those grusom pictures that will make him throw up!!!!! show it to all his friends too.....

Reply to @ ALL
Posted by: Deeve | 2010/11/19

Oh really Chris... I smoked at home since I was 15 with my parents knowing. It didn''t make me a bad person, nor did I turn out to be a looser. Moving on to other drugs is normally about who your kid hangs out with. Letting him hang out with the wrong crowd often leads to serious consequenses. Rather keep a close eye on with who and where he goes, rather than giving him a ''snot klap''! That will only drive him further away.

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: Chris | 2010/11/17

As hy nou al rook is dit te laat om hom te stop, jy moes hom lank terug al n snot klap gegee het.

Reply to Chris
Posted by: Teen expert | 2010/11/17

There is no sure way of him stopping unless he decides to. The best thing to do is to make all the disadvantages clear to him and then let him decide for himself.

At home you can also have a no smoking rule either inside or outside in the garden.

Many young people will try smoking at his age, but not all of them will continue with it.

Reply to Teen expert

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