Our expert says:
I feel that at this stage you are trying to keep the right balance between your concerns and the probems at hand. However, if the problems continue and you feel that you are still being lied to in relation to the smoking and problems at school you may need to change your boundaries.
At this stage it is worth discussing with your daughter that you do not want to have to intervene with regards to who she spends time with. However, if her promises come to nothing or it becomes clear that she is lying to you that although you cant stop her seing friends at school, you will no longer allow her to see them outside of school. Make it clear you are giving her the choice and the option to begin taking responsibility for herself; bt if she cannot do this then as her parent you will intervene without hesitation.
In this way you make it clear that you want her to have certain freedoms, but you are still the parent.
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