Posted by: MUM | 2009-01-14


My son whose is 13 has been smoking. We foud out from a friend. My husband made him aware that we knew he was smoking. Despite this he continued. My husband smike to him again. But he merely had a grin. Where do we go from here?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

This really depends on how as parents you view this situation. If it is the case that you are totally determined that he does not smoke then youwill need to approach this knowing that he may continue to smoke behind your back. Of course smoking is both illegal at 13 and also health-wise we know without doubt the dangers to a persons health. If you feel that you want to take this on and he does not seem to be responding to discussions and requests to not smoke, you then have to consider what you are prepared to do in order to discourage him. This may be removal of pocket money, privileges or outings until you are satisfied he is no longer smoking. This may be a difficult battle, but if you are clear about not wanting this you will have to act in a very determined and steadfast way.

Ultimately, of course the best way forward would be to find ways to talk it through, and for your son to have some thinking time about the implications of starting smoking.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Been there | 2009-02-27

I smoked from the age of 13 too, and my father allowed me to smoke on the porch with him from age 15. None of this made me a bad person. I don' t think my parents were overjoyed, but realised that I would smoke in the streets anyway, and they rather I did things under their control than elsewhere. I went to the army at 17, and most the guys smoked, so I was set free then anyway.
I don' t know the answer here, but would rather suggest that you have a heart to heart with the lad on his level, rather than scold him, and demand that he do this or that your way - it will only make him more determined to do things ' his'  way! Maybe take him at some stage to a clinic where the people all have lung disease etc, and he can see for himself what the consequences are. I only stopped smoking in my late 30' ya! My kids watched how I battled to quit - I' m very fortunate that neither of them are the slightest bit interested...they' re in fact very anti smoking. Best of luck!

Reply to Been there
Posted by: Lynn | 2009-01-16

Tx, its was no trouble at all, just hope less teenagers get caught in a situation like this, o and my pleasure

Reply to Lynn
Posted by: mum | 2009-01-15

Dear Lynn
Thank you for taking the time to write. Greatly appreciated.

Reply to mum
Posted by: Lynn | 2009-01-14

Hey, i am 15 and my parents found out i am smoking about 2 years ago, i didnt want to listen to them and continued smoking behind their back, i found ways to go out and smoke without them knowing and i also made sure that they don' t suspect something. You may not find sigarets in his room or whereever but doesn' t mean he doesn' t have or have quit, he may be hiding it somewhere else. He may also be smoking because his friends presures him or just because he thinks it reliefs it from his problems. Just make sure he knows that you are very disapointed with him and thinks he is better than that, thats mostly why i have stopped. But dont forget that he may lie to your face saying he has qiut and keep saying that you should trust him, if he begins using allot of deodorant he is trying to cover it up, or if he sudenly wants to go out more you should know he is still smoking.

Just be on the look out for enything that may be differant about his actions and doings, and make sure he knows that you are looking up on him, like when you doudt him ask him did he smoke, the small things do get to you later.

If all fails do what my friends mother did, go get a packet of sigarets and cook it with vodka, lett him drink that then, i promise you he will never in his life toush a sigaret again.

Good luck though, hope you guys sucseed.

Reply to Lynn

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