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Question
Posted by: Zet | 2008/07/23

13 yearold daughter

What must I do regarding my 13 y old daughter. You see is like this me and her father is divorce, he do not help me with them or come and see or phone them. She hate him what he did to me and what he is doing to me. I have 4 children. She wants to do her own thing. She visit her x boyfriend mother and she sleep sometimes there by her and she is always by her. I dont know if this lady influence her but she change towards me. She is also scared that I will take her father back but I told her so many times he does not have a change in his life by me it is over between us. If I talk to her she always say I am screaming on her but I am not . What can I do regarding my daughter. PLEASE HELP

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi Zet,

I think there are a couple of factors at play here. Firstly your daughter has reached a stage in her development where she is going to challenge boundaries and your authority more, which can often lead to more conflict between parents and their teens. With this it is about continuing to ensure the boundaries you think are important are maintained, whilst recognising that you will need to adjust your thinking and approach as your daughter begins to develop emotionally.

It may be worth making contact with her ex-boyfriend's mother and chatting to her to get a sense of the person rather than worrying about her influence without knowing.

At this point in time your daughter may also be thinking more about who she is and where she comes from which will raise issues about her father. If things continue to be difficult perhaps consider counselling for you and your daughter - a really good organisation to consider is FAMSA - check them out at www.famsa.org.za

Best wishes

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sheri | 2008/07/28

It seems nowadays we cannot control our children they have minds of their own

My daughter is 16 and becoming awful with her mouth and people have picked up on this and actually many people have started disliking her which she does not understand
but you know your daughter is 13 maybe she needs alot of reassurance from you that you will not take him back. Like mother and daughter day - sometimes if possible escape with her - spend time with her make her feel " my daughter you are worthy"  and i understand about the screaming part because i am going thru that - i am firm then my daughter says im screaming so maybe we try to meet her them half way by being a little more softer when we speak and i find speaking slowly is of great help. im sorry for your troubles - i shall pray for you . Sheri

Reply to Sheri

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