advertisement
Question
Posted by: Mandy | 2011/05/30

13 year old daughter - please help

I month ago we found out that my 13 year old daughter had a boyfriend she was hiding from us....we''re a very open family and were very disappointed...we took her phone away and she asked for us to change her number as she didn''t know how to get this guy off her back as he was harassing her...which we did, she built up the trust and last night we find that it hasn''t ended and it''s far worse than what we expected.

When we drop her at youth on a Friday, her boyfriends parents go fetch her and she goes back to their house.....where i''m horrified to say she''s been having oral sex with this guy...i''m absolutely devastated and don''t know what to do.

She says she can''t control herself (her sexual urges) and needs help...where do i take her??? What do i do??

I''m at a point where i want to put her in an all girls boarding school.....

If we charge this guy with Stat rape...everyone will know...how do we save our family from the ridicule and embarrassment

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi Mandy,

I would suggest you go with your daughter to see a psychologist - one that specialises in adolescents. This will provide a safe space for her to discuss her feelings and make sense of how to integrate her sexual feelings in a healthy way. Many young people struggle to control sexual urges, but for their own safety and at times healthy development it is important for them to feel in control of their behaviour and their bodies.

I would also like to point out that if the boy she has been sexually active with is also under the age of 16 years, your daughter could face a charge of Statutory Rape from his parents. It is often not realised that the law works both ways regardless of gender.

Best wishes

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: Chynna | 2011/09/04

All of my qeustinos settled-thanks!

Reply to Chynna
Posted by: Romany | 2011/05/31

Charge the man with rape. It is the correct thing to do. It is the law (male or female) (Invited or uninvited) (provoked or unprovoked) He should not get away with doing this to a 13 year old child (male or female for that matter).
Do not worry about " what people will say about your family" , it is not about you know. You need to do this to help her. She needs to see that there are consequences and that you are behind her here.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Teen expert | 2011/05/31

Hi Mandy,

I would suggest you go with your daughter to see a psychologist - one that specialises in adolescents. This will provide a safe space for her to discuss her feelings and make sense of how to integrate her sexual feelings in a healthy way. Many young people struggle to control sexual urges, but for their own safety and at times healthy development it is important for them to feel in control of their behaviour and their bodies.

I would also like to point out that if the boy she has been sexually active with is also under the age of 16 years, your daughter could face a charge of Statutory Rape from his parents. It is often not realised that the law works both ways regardless of gender.

Best wishes

Reply to Teen expert
Posted by: Single Father | 2011/05/30

Its takes two too tango.
The besst thing to do is take her into the room and have a good talk to her.
I have a 13yr daughter too and we speak about every thing.
I would let her know about the dangers of un-protected sex including oral sex.
She is at a age where she has these starnge feeling runnign through her little body.
Has she started with her period yet. If so she must also know that she can fall pregnant.
I would let her know that you are there for her and help her through this special time in her life. Puberty is a very difficult time for yng girls as all the hormones flowing through her.
I have found that if you forbid her to see the boyfriend she will find away to see. This is where she may fall pregnant or even worse pickup an STD.
Explain to her that she has plenty time to enjoy the pleasure of life and that she a to young to start now.

Reply to Single Father
Posted by: lizard | 2011/05/30

they satisfy sexual urges with each other at an all girls boarding school, girl on girl, why blame the guy, your daughter opened her legs, he did''nt force her, why should the male be blamed for your daughters behaviour, for all you know she asked HIM to do it

Reply to lizard

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement