Posted by: Frustrated | 2012-12-12

100% Percent Love and is questionable

I met this man who is 35 and im 37 we love each other 100 % and we communicate with each other well on almost everything.the man is staying
in Limpopo and im In JHB and that doesnt bother either of us as he is driving all the way from his place to JHB just to be with me and we spend most of our time talking to each other on emails,telephone an social networks.Simply i can say we too connected and we happy together.I love him so much to such an extendt that i sometimes loose concentration on what im doing because of my love to him.

All along i was not doubting his love for me.Even a fool can see that the man loves me until last monday where it happens that we talked about HIV as i have asked him to go for tests before we going to share a bed and he agreed however we ended up sharing the bed before we go for tests and myself i deceided to give him chance to talk to his heart about testing as it is not a simple decision to take for some people.So to me its simple as i know my status and i always protect myself and i apply rules of no condom no sex.

i have shown him my HIV tests results(negative) that make things chagne between us because from yesterday he had never called me like he used to and i called him and he as not there to take my calls and thats so heartbreaking and i have now starting to question his love as is it true love or was he pretending and on a mission to destroy me or what.I dont want to finalise it within myself that he might be positive and shy to disclose to me.And we talked about it before that if either of us tested positive we will still continue to love each other as we do and protect each i am now wondering what i should do this whole thing is killing my spirit and it hurts to see a minor issue like this turns a pretty life ups and down.

I do not know what to do.I dont know as to wether i should sit with him down and talk this matter out with him and i dont wanna do that because i have seen that this issue becomes a sensitive thing to him and he ends up loosing temper and becoming a bit harsh to me,.so how can u advise the poor soul of me that is hurting so much? should i go on and love him or should i let him go? i dont know what to do i dont wanna loose him he makes me happy

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

At first reading, I thought you said 17, rather than 37. That he didn't despect your wishes about HIV testing is troubling and suspicious - he wanted to get you into bed, and presumably if he was confident he was HIV negative, he'd have been keen to be tested. I don't respect someone's reluctance to get tested when they plan to have sex with someone who they might be infecting with a very serious virus disease. That is not in the least a loving thing to do.
Not disclosing one's HIV positive status isn't being "shy" , its being devious, dishonest and irrespondible. This is NOT "a minor issue" - it can easily be a life and death issue.
Losing his temper and "getting harsh" with you indicates selfishness and probably a guilty conscience. Let him go. HIV and AIDS will not make you happy.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kelly | 2012-12-12

Natalie please! Anyone reading this womens problem could hear that neither of them are inlove. Do not speak to the fool at all and do not give him any reasurance. Women need to stop being this foolish!

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: natalie | 2012-12-12

SPeak to him and reassure him you love him. If he really cares about you he will take the test. He might be nervous of the result. Give him a few days space, then suggest getting toegether and once face to face ask him if he got his results. It does sound like you love each other, just make sure it''s a stable kind of love.. not just infatuation.
hope things work out for you!!

Reply to natalie
Posted by: Kelly | 2012-12-12

For heavens sake you are 37 years old not flippen 16!
Wake up and smell the coffee. You are not inlove with this man and any fool could see that he aint inlove with you.
Getting upset with you because he dsnt want to take an HIV test... Does that not tell you something, does that not ring any bells... So he''s got what he wanted and hasnt contacted you... and this is a man that you do not want to lose and makes you happy!

I think some people just get what they deserve, grow up please and start respecting yourself for once!
Forget about this guy before he gives you HIV, I bet you''d then say he loved you so much he wanted to take you with him...

Reply to Kelly

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