Home > Columnists Updated 02 March 2016 What will you regret one day? When people have end-of-life regrets, they often are being very hard on themselves, says Susan Erasmus. 2 iStock Start A Health24 blog » Try Our quizzes and tools » Follow Health24 on Twitter » Ask CyberShrink » 10 yucky hygiene facts 'Cancer is your fault' We all have 20/20 hindsight. When it comes to looking back at one’s life as one nears the end of it, there will always be things one regrets. Many of these have to do with being true to oneself, expressing feelings more readily, and letting oneself be happier. These three things are actually closely connected.But we have to be fair to ourselves: we did what we did at the time because it looked like the best thing to do in that situation with the information we had at our disposal. Sometimes expressing what we feel might do quite a lot of damage. There are also times in our lives when external pressures are enormous and not everyone has it in themselves to withstand those. That doesn’t make one a bad person.I don’t need to tell you that life is a complicated thing and that we are often torn in two or more different directions by people/kids or finances or work or family pressures. Some years in our lives will be for child-rearing, or for career advancement, or for studying, or for elder care. We don’t always have the luxury of making the kinds of choices that would be entirely true to ourselves. Life is by definition at best a compromise.Also, expressing our feelings and being true to ourselves are two things which take a lot of courage and self-confidence. Especially self-confidence is something many people take a lifetime to cultivate. Sometimes we have to put others first – where the problem comes in is when we never put ourselves first.And I suppose that’s the secret – to do one thing just for yourself every day. Mine is to go on a half-hour walk early every morning. It feels great to start the day by doing something just for myself. Yours could be to phone the friend you haven’t spoken to for a year, or to join the library, or spend some quiet time with the family or on your own, to take time out for special people or go to see a movie – whatever appeals to you.In between everything we have to do, we really do need to make time for ourselves. We deserve it. It’s not a selfish thing to do – it is essential for our survival. By all means hang on to your dreams and remember who you are. Life has a wonderful way of presenting new situations and new opportunities. Be ready to take them. But please don’t lie on your deathbed and regret that you didn’t spend your life backpacking the world or being a National Geographic photographer. Who knows? The eternal backpacker might regret never settling down and having a family and financial security. Everybody’s situation is different: one can have amazing experiences right in the middle of suburbia. You just need to be open to them.And that’s something you can do today. Susan Erasmus More in Columnists More by Cybershrink More: Columnists advertisement Read Health24’s Comments Policy Comment on this story 2 comments Comments have been closed for this article. Logout Comment 0 characters remaining Share on Facebook Loading comments... From our sponsors The three stress-busting basics you can’t afford to ignore Detangle the myths from the facts Why you should try the cold or hot approach for sports-related injuries Head lice myth busters! Live healthier Coffee and wine for the win! » Could heartburn drugs upset your 'good' gut bacteria? Life is a gut reaction Good news! Coffee & wine may promote a healthy gut Diverse bacteria help your gut stay healthy. Here's how what you eat and drink can help or harm that balance - and it's not all bad news. I gave hubby HIV » Giving babies antibodies promptly may eliminate HIV Vaginal ring to prevent HIV on the cards I gave my husband HIV and watched him die Stephanie van Niekerk unwittingly infected her husband with HIV and ended up having to watch him wither and die in front of her very eyes. This is Stephanie's story in her own words.