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02 September 2011

On-the-job sex video

While they were supposed to guard a prisoner, a prison official and a policewoman were filmed having sex.

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While they were supposed to guard a prisoner, a prison official and a policewoman were filmed having sex. They should be promoted, not suspended, says Susan Erasmus.

The said prison official has now been fired, and the policewoman has been suspended.

Correct me if I am wrong, but for some reason the Krugersdorp Prison Hospital doesn't really strike me as the most romantic of venues for a tryst.

I don't think it's right that they have been fired/suspended. They should be promoted.

Firstly, this guy had the ingenuity and wherewithal to choose the spot, so to speak, set up the video equipment, and pop the question. These are complicated things. Ask most men, how a woman is likely to respond when asked if she would like to get naked in Krugersdorp Prison Hospital. This is a brave and persuasive guy who clearly has hidden talents. Or at least they were hidden until the video went public.

Secondly, how many guys would be able to muster a credible sexual performance under these circumstances? Imagine bright prison lights, a bed or a desk that's most likely been to hell and back, people wandering about in bright orange jumpsuits, uniforms and handcuffs. OK, I will stop right there, because I am sure there are a few readers whose imagination could go wild here and I wouldn't want to be accused of being salacious. Heavens, no.

Who knows, maybe they were just taking the whole workplace wellness thing a step or two further than most people would think of doing.

Now that they are jobless, they should perhaps consider releasing the video. A few titles spring to mind:

Down and dirty among the syringes
Stethoscopes and suspenders
Be jumped among orange jumpsuits
Love and the law
Bras and bars

I could carry on, but I will spare you.

Now onto the policewoman (and that is not an instruction to the prison warden). Even if this were real love blossoming, for the rest of her life she will be known as a cheap date. No flowers, no dinner, no dancing – just a state prison hospital ward. Poor thing.

I am very happy I am not the one having to explain this to a spouse (and that goes for the prison official too).

Here's the real killer: these two were being paid to guard a prisoner, no less. No wonder escaping is the biggest hobby of SA prisoners. How difficult can it be to wander off if the two people supposed to be guarding you are engaging in a bit of nookie-filming in another room? In fact, if you don't take this opportunity you have absolutely no initiative or get-up-and-go. You probably deserve to be right where you are. In Krugersdorp, nogal.

And to our two sex video stars: sorry, but somehow if I were you, I would do what I could to get back my day job. Krugersdorp prison hospital sex videos somehow just don't elicit visions of exotic erotica and international stardom. Not even if the handcuffs were pink.

(Susan Erasmus, Health24, August 2011)

 
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